Thursday, November 4, 2010

Fifty First Dates--Minus Forty-Nine...

...or all about why I'm glad I only ever had to go on one first date.

Reason Number One: I'm not good at them (or so I suspect). Why do I think this? Well, because I'm horrible at meeting people. For one thing, I get terribly nervous. My stomach hurts, I sweat, and I often start shaking. I'm also horrible at making small talk, mainly because I only ask questions that I really want to know the answer to. This often means I skip the expected pleasantries and ask something that may be received as an invasion of privacy or an inappropriate question. (So you recently had a colonoscopy? What was that like?) I have zero tolerance for social lies. (How does this top look on me? Well, to be honest, not that good.) Perfect candor is great in an established relationship because you will always know where you stand with me, but isn't such a great thing when trying to navigate the maze that is getting to know someone.

Reason Number Two: I don't like to dress up. At all. Ever. Not even in blue jeans. I like my sweats, and I don't want the elastic waist to be too tight. Especially since the second baby. There's just no bounce-back left in my sad, saggy tummy. I keep hoping for a miracle, but so far, nothing. However, even back in my college days when everything was a little firmer than now, I still loved my comfortable clothes. I know the rule is dress for success, but they might as well say dress to compress. Fortunately, my husband loves me even when I'm rocking a fine pair of purple sweats. Not sure how that would go over on a first date though.

Reason Number Three: I hated the meat market that was dating. I had a guy approach me my freshman year and try to ask me out while telling me he thought of dating as an "all-you-can-eat buffet." Strike one and you're out, buddy! I never really thought the wardrobe approach the best way to start a lasting relationship either. (Hmmm... Let me try you on for size. Nope, not working, I'll cast you aside for my next selection.) Seems like a good way to practice ending your relationships, not keeping them for life. I'm not saying I think you're a horrible person if you dated two or three or ten people, only that I think serial dating to be, generally, unwise.

Reason Number Four: I love my husband, and I'm so glad we met, and married, young, so we could start our life together. I love that he indulges me in my crazy whims, and does it without making me feel like a crazy person. I love that he has made me become a better person (and it wasn't because he was trying to improve me; I would have hated that). I love that he never shied away from committing to me in a world where genuine commitment is so very rare. I love that he is the father of my two precious children, the one who plays peek-a-boo with them over the couch. I love that I didn't have to sort through a bunch of jerks to find the man who was right for me. I'm so thankful that God knew I could only handle one first date, and lined up all the details perfectly.

How perfect the equation: one first date+two people who fell in love=fifty first dates-forty-nine

1 comment:

  1. Aw, what a great post. And for the record, I love your honesty. I feel like no matter the time we spend apart, we can still pick up and have a great conversation. And not about small talk either :)