A Dozen Days of Doula Scoop: Day 1

I just spent two days, sunrise to sunset (and after), fully immersed in the world of birth, and the down and dirty details of being a doula. Of course, being me, I loved it all. Also being me, I want to share! So, rather than one obscenely long post in which I attempt to cover everything I learned, I thought I'd do twelve posts covering some of the different topics we talked about over the weekend.

Why have a doula at your birth, anyway?

You have already chosen a doctor or midwife, you know you will have a labor and delivery nurse at the hospital, you will have your husband and maybe your mom with you at your birth. Why in the world would you want to have a doula at this very intimate life event? Well, would you like to avoid a cesarean? One study showed simply having a doula at her birth reduced a mother's odds of cesarean by 45 percent. Are you trying to have a natural birth? Doulas reduced moms' usage of all pain medications by 31 percent, even women who were not planning an unmedicated birth. Having a doula there reduced their pain perception so much that they simply didn't need it. To put it simply, having a doula is a risk-free way to reduce labor interventions and the risks inherent in those interventions. One of the reasons a doula can provide such outstanding reductions in labor interventions is her continuous support of the mom. No other care provider in our current birth world is able to be with the mom continuously. Doctors tend to pop in only for vaginal exams and to catch the baby. Nurses are often overstretched, having to monitor two or more moms in labor in addition to managing the hospital paperwork. Even Certified Nurse Midwives, who often long to provide a higher standard of care, usually can't stay with mom for the entire duration of her labor. Doulas can. Doulas are not focused on performing any of the clinical tasks that need to be done to insure a safe birth. We are there to make sure mom has a satisfying birth. (I can say that, because I'm a doula now! Yay!) The continuous support of a doula has also been shown to shorten labor. Do you want a shorter labor? Yeah, me too. Worth the trade-off of sharing this most precious life event with yet another person? I think so. Do you?

Do you love the same things I do?

A perfectly ripe peach
The kind that drips down your chin, your neck, and down the collar of your shirt.

Harry Potter series
They were gripping, suspenseful, vivid, and thrilling. I'm afraid the movies were not of the same caliber.

Cooking
There's something to thrilling about taking many unrelated ingredients and creating a delicious dish from them.

Bacon
It's crispy, it's salty. What's not to love? I'm a little bit of a bacon snob though, because I only buy the nitrate free version, and I never, never purchase turkey bacon (too soggy).

Fall
Not too hot, not too cold. Like Goldilocks, I want my weather to be just right. I also love those brilliant salmon colored maple leaves.

Birth
It's sweaty, it's bloody, sometimes there's throw-up. Mom gives it all she has to get what she wants most. There's nothing like that moment where suddenly there's another person in the room.

Home
Staying there. Returning from being away. Being snowed in.

Sleeping
Once I became a parent, I discovered sleep is perhaps the greatest luxury item. (Honey, forget the diamonds. All I really want is for you to keep the kids so I can get a few extra hours in my bed.)

Boys
I have three, all sweet.

Jesus
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, but He has always been there, and He always will be.

Yucky Words

I'm a word person. I like to read them; I like to write them. But I don't like all words. Some words just sound yucky. I don't like to say them.

Here are a few words I think should be removed from the English language.

Moist
Just try saying it out loud. Sounds yucky doesn't it?

Preggers/Preggo
You may be a redneck if...these are the words you choose to tell people you're pregnant! In a stunning but not totally unexpected contradiction, the word "preggie" doesn't bother me at all. I actually find it a little bit cute.

Buttocks
Especially when used to refer to people. What are we, livestock?

Eczema
I have a particular aversion to this word for other reasons, but it's also just not a pretty word.

Acne
Do we have to make people with this condition feel even worse by using such an ugly word to describe it?

Tits
Rhymes with zits. 'Nuff said.

There's also a few words I like to say, but don't have occasion to use much in real life.
Goodly
Vanquished
Aura
Gorgeous
Epic
Abhor
Wrought (Did you know that "wrought" is past tense of work? I didn't, at least until I looked it up in an online dictionary.)
Persay

I'm seeing a trend here. Can anyone say, in the days of King Arthur?

Hidden benefits

Holidays are all about food, aren't they? At least, that's what my family thinks. We like to celebrate with meals. Thanksgiving means a groaning table that could probably feed a hungry family for a couple of weeks. Seriously. My grandmother, two aunts, mother, and now me, all think as we're cooking our respective dishes that there just might not be enough. It's not one pan of dressing, it's two. We have three or four big bowls of different salads. Of course a giant turkey, plus a ham. And then there are sides, usually six or seven of those. And I would never, never forget the dessert. How could I, when it is a spread to dazzle the eye? A couple of cakes, three or four pies, maybe a cheesecake, and other stuff. Needless to say, we usually just lie around and groan for a couple of hours afterward.

We like food at other holidays too. Christmas means baking, Valentine's equals chocolate, Easter calls for a big family dinner with such dishes as macaroni and cheese (something with cheese, definitely), July 4th, we have to grill out, and birthdays mean birthday cake! I have definitely had my share of tight pants following the holidays. However, this year has been an anomaly in my life. Following the allergen free diet (for Daniel's sake) pretty much eliminated all fattening foods from the menu. Thanksgiving dinner was meat, potatoes, and veggies, just as most of are meals are these days. Christmas Eve dinner was (you guessed it), meat, potatoes, and veggies. As for dessert, I didn't have anything. Not even the delicious cherry sorbet that is one of the few desserts containing no allergens. I decided since I was already having a rather austere holiday spread, I would give up all sugar, which is something I'm always trying to do. I have a terrible sweet tooth, but eating sugar makes me feel terrible. I felt like my body needed a break from refined sugar. Apart from the actually week of Christmas, when some maple sugar and cherry sorbet did enter my mouth, I have not eaten sugar since before Thanksgiving.

So knowing that I was not indulging myself, although I certainly didn't count calories or limit food consumption of acceptable foods (for allergy purposes), maybe you won't hate me when I say that I was maybe the only person who lost weight (six pounds to be exact) over the holidays. I didn't work at it, I didn't agonize, I just did what I needed to do for my little Daniel, with the happy side effect of surpassing my post-Nathan weight loss. I'm only about two pounds heavier than I was on my wedding day (the thinnest I have ever been, mainly due to the stress of trying to graduate and plan a wedding three weeks after graduation day), although I still can't fit into some of my snuggest pants. Pregnancy just made me mushier, especially those three inches right below my belly button. But other than the post-preggy mush, I'm fitter than ever. It's been three months since we cut out all the allergy-provoking foods, and the diet, while difficult, has not been without benefits. So thank you allergy diet for making me thin again!

Photo Shoots

Every Christmas since Nathan was born, I have taken a nice picture for the grandparents as their Christmas present. The first year (just Nathan, who was not yet walking) was not all that difficult. I nestled him in an obliging tree trunk and simply tried to capture every adorable expression. The second year I found myself a bit more challenged with a child capable of walking and running, but at least with one, I could simply follow him around and snap photos every time he looked in my direction. Last year, Nathan was old enough to follow directions (sometimes), and Daniel was not yet mobile, so the main problem was trying to get them smiling at the same time (or at least not crying). Nonetheless, every year I have been able to come up with a cute picture worthy of framing.

This year, photographing my children reached an entirely new level of difficulty. Nathan was mostly very obliging, but Daniel was cranky and wherever I put him, he would immediately get up and walk straight towards me. You photographers out there know that the one place it is impossible to photograph someone (short of an expensive specialized lens) is six inches from your face. That's pretty much the only place Daniel wanted to be and the only place he wasn't crying. I had them dressed in their matching shirts, and really wanted to get a picture before the shirts got dirty. I knew I only had about a thirty minute window (or less). Since Daniel wouldn't sit in the chair I had set up for them, I got a little desperate and as Daniel was running around, started telling Nathan, "Put your head next to Daniel's, now over there, okay, put it next to Daniel's head." Needless to say, there was a lot of crazy running around for several minutes. Finally, Nathan lunged over Daniel and I snapped the picture at just the right moment before Nathan fell over on top of Daniel. Crying ensued. I rushed to the computer to see if I had anything--anything at all! As luck would have it (or perhaps a miracle of God for a poor tired mom), I got this picture.

My big announcement...

No, I'm not pregnant! I know that's what you were thinking...

So apparently I have (inadvertently) decided to take a holiday from writing on the blog, not because I don't love you, my readers and friends, or blogging itself, but because I have been so busy--and no, I haven't been doing tons of Christmas shopping. (Thank goodness for internet shopping. I have made a grand total of two actual Christmas related outings, but I have gotten about ten packages in the mail.) In fact, I have been far too busy contemplating, deciding, planning, and putting into action preparations for my new (part-time) career. I'm training to become a certified labor doula! For those of you who may be unfamiliar with the term, a doula is a woman whose primary purpose is to provide physical and emotional support to a laboring mom (and dad!). If you read my blog about the perfect birth, you've probably already figured out that I have an intense passion for all things birth related. Although I've had this passion since I was a teenager, my own two births made me even more convinced that moms need someone at their births whose only role is making sure they have a satisfying birth experience. However, having the two babies as a product of my two births, I felt like there was no way for me to start anything new, and there wasn't, at least until recently.

About a month ago (pretty much the same time I started my blogging hiatus), I had a mental (or spiritual, or both) breakthrough. It was like I suddenly realized that I could start the process of becoming a labor doula right now. After all, why not? Daniel is getting close to weaning (I think), which has probably been the major roadblock. I also realized that although I am still one hundred percent committed to being the primary caregiver in my children's life, that doesn't mean I have to be the solo caregiver one hundred percent of the time. I don't want my children to grow up thinking that my life revolves around them (although, for now, it does). I want them to socialize, to learn to be independent, and be comfortable in a variety of environments. The great thing for my personal situation is that being a labor doula would still allow me to do another one of my great passions, which is to homeschool my children, at least through the early years. After all, homeschool is the ultimate flexible situation. So having mentally worked through a lot of the things that were keeping me from taking on this new challenge, I talked through the idea with Stephen and a few other close family members, and decided to go for it!

Anyone who knows me well knows that once I make up my mind about something, I'm going to make it happen. Unless Jesus or a freight train stops me, I'm going to find a way. With that said, once I made up my mind to do it, I was registered for training within two weeks. I'll get to spend an entire weekend in January fraternizing with my fellow birth nerds, and learning a lot of special labor-aid techniques. Then, bring on the births, and bring on the babies!

Baby Talk

I had a full conversation with Daniel tonight as I was finishing dinner.

Daniel: Chicken?
Me: You want chicken?
Daniel: Um-huh. Chicken?
Me: You want to get down?
Daniel: Naw.
Me: Where's your water cup?
Daniel: All gone.

So cute!